Sunday, March 07, 2004

Cheney's Gridiron Remarks - these are hilarious

VP Cheney made some remarks last night at the gridiron dinner. These are downright hilarious. He's a couple of my fav's.

"Lots of familiar faces here tonight. I always feel a genuine bond whenever I see Senator Clinton. She's the only person who's the center of more conspiracy theories than I am."

"But enough of this camaraderie. This is the absolute truth: my last full-blown press conference was when I was Secretary of Defense in April of 1991. . . . Although it's only been 13 years . . . I thought you might have come up with some new questions by now. And I have here some cards on which you have done just that. . . ."

"Here's an unsigned question. 'Mr. Vice President, don't you think it's time to step down and let someone else add new energy and vitality to the ticket?'"

No . . . I don't. And Rudy [Guiliani], you need to do a better job disguising your handwriting."

"Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, it's getting late . . . and Nino [Scalia] and I have to get up early to go duck hunting . . . so let me say a few words in closing."