a quick summary

This is about right.

John Kerry: "Whatever you need, it's yours. Need a job? You got it. Need a

higher living wage? Done. Need cheap, universal healthcare? I'm your man. Need a

better education? Have at it, paid in full. Relying on social security for your

retirement? I'll put it in a lock box. Tax relief? I can give you that, too.

Want to lose your virginity to a teenage Mexicali hooker and a donkey? I'll

print coupons. And the best part is, every single one of my plans comes with

free cole slaw and a plate of homestyle biscuits!" George Bush: "Anybody who

believes this guy can deliver on even one percent of his promises deserves four

years of John F'n Kerry. God bless, and good night."